Lost weekend: What I might know. Or not.

I just might do Music Monday and LOST Weekend. We'll have to see about that. But here's what I'm thinking about LOST with just a few weeks to go.


Wake up!
When season six kicked off, I liked the theory that the opening of this season might also be the closing of the whole show. Maybe Jack will finally become a worthy leader and take everyone back somehow to a reality in which flight 815 leaves Australia and lands at LAX, the island is sunken deep in the sea, and the numbers have not been broadcast in a very very long time and everyone lives happily ever after.


Our survivors gave each other a lot of looks while on the plane in the season six opening. Jack and Desmond exchange "I am almost knowing something right now" looks. Kate and Jack do the same. In subsequent episodes they look into mirrors as if they are thinking, "I should know something here, but I don't quite know what it is that I don't know. Anybody know what I mean?"


But now Charlie and Daniel woke up Desmond who woke up Hurley and maybe Locke who might wake up Jack who... wait a minute. Why was Desmond on the LAX flight?


What about the Valenzetti numbers?
Weren't the United Nations, Dharma and the DeGroots using the Valenzetti equation to prevent the end of humankind and life as we know it? Didn't the island broadcast those numbers and draw in boats and planes and helicopters and air balloons? Didn't someone have to push the button to keep island time stuck cycling endlessly, invisible to the rest of the planet, while faith and science go to to work to save the world?


Is that the choice - either individual lives can be lived with all of their personal good and bad deeds, loves and hates, or someone can push a button that continually resets the Swan station countdown timer so that humanity can go on forever as long as someone protects this crazy island of space-time. We can stay on the island and hold back evil forever or we can leave and return to the world that is not only morally complicated but that will end.


So who's the good guy and what's love got to do with it?
So is Jacob good because he put the cork in the wine bottle and will never let it out? Is that the only way to save the world? Or is it better to face up to moral complexity? And hey, I like wine. And whatever you call him, Smocke or Flocke or notLocke or Lockeness Monster or Man in Black is pretty hot. So is Locke, so we've got a two-for-one there. Sawyer and Desmond are hot too, but what's love got to do with it? Obviously something.


What about course corrections?
Is the Ajira flight the course correction, bringing the survivors back to the island that they should never have escaped? Or is the sideways LAX life the course correction, bringing the survivors to LAX instead of the island they should never have seen? Will concern for Claire and baby Aaron finally turn Kate's life around in either case? Can any course correction ever help Jack get it together? What can be changed and what will always be corrected? Why does Ethan have to be involved in Aaron's birth one way or another? And where's Juliet? And please tell me that Penny and Desmond will be together no matter what and even after the island is through with Des. No Ilana-style explosions please. And no Charlie-style sacrifices, either.


Is there any hope for those Dharma kids?
What will happen to those cute Dharma kids Daniel, Charlotte, Miles, Ben and Annie? I once pored over cast photos in Lostpedia and decided the best match for a grown up Annie is Joyce Malkin, married to psychic Richard who messed with pregnant Claire and mother of teen Charlotte who drowned and came back to life during the autopsy (fortunately pretty early into the autopsy when a bunch of whispering started up) and whose miraculous resurrection was investigated by priest Eko. Charlotte later delivered a message to Eko from his dead brother Yemi. Check it out. Joyce Malkin. Annie.


At one point Darlton said Annie was of seismic importance. Later they clarified that meant importance to Ben's life, not necessarily to the show. I still hope we'll see her soon. Who else could wake up sideways Ben? Apparently not Alex.


What's up with all the conflicting lists?
So many lists, so little time left. Right now, they seem to be lists of candidates who have to be protected so that one of them can take over Jacob's job. But according to Mikhail in "Par Avion" Kate is not on Jacob's list because she is flawed, Sayid is not on because he is weak and frightened, Locke is not on because he is angry. So why are they on the guitar case list? Why aren't the guitar case list, the cave list and the lighthouse list identical? Or are they? Are these all really Jacob's lists of candidates? Or is the cave list Mocke's list and just his best guess at who's on and off Jacob's list? Was Mikhail just a lying liar? Exactly who does he work for anyway?


Why is Claire the new Danielle?
Some women can have babies on the island, as long as they conceived off island. But their babies are taken from them and then they have to become Jungle Janes. These Janes are a good bit tougher than Tarzan ever was, with a great set of steampunk accoutrements. I like Claire and really hope she has been living in Danielle's old steampunk camp.


Who's infected with what?
Was Danielle's team really infected and only she knew it? Or was she infected? Is Sayid infected? Claire? With what? Given all of the candidates were selected for their mix of good and evil, is the infection a tipping in the wrong direction? What's with the baptismal, resurrection dip in the temple water?


Is this the zombie season?
Holy crap, all those years of rumors about the zombie season that will follow the survivor season, the others season, the tailies season, the Dharma season, flashback and the flashforward seasons actually came true! Zombie Christian. Zombie Locke. Zombie Sayid. Zombie Claire. Zomie Richard. Some are Smoky reincarnations. Some are infected by the dark side. Richard and Man in Black are unable to age, unable to leave, unable to die. Michael and the other whisperers are the dead but undead who walk around the island.


Yep, zombies. Richard thinks everyone is dead and in hell. He's wrong, but they are stuck on Zombie Island.


Widmore? Paik? Austen? Thomas? Hawking? Hanso?
What the hell are Widmore and Paik doing? Their interests seem purely materialistic, hoping to exploit the island for personal power and wealth. Ellie/Mrs. Hawking seems to know all about it, but to have opted out. I don't think she's interested in exploiting or protecting the island, just learning the secret science and time travel hot spots to try to change the course of time so that she does not kill her own son. Widmore seems to mostly respect that. 


And remember those military-industry bits along the way that connect Widmore (Penny's dad) to Paik (Sun's dad) to Sam Austen (Kate's dad)? Who's Penny's mom? Where did Daniel Faraday, son of Widmore and Hawking, get his last name?


What's up with Widmore and Claire and Aaron? We know Widmore had some contact with Claire's boyfriend Thomas (Aaron's father) and has one of his paintings hanging in his office. I've always thought Widmore paid Thomas to get Claire pregnant and then abandon her. In return, Widmore bought a few of Thomas' paintings and promised to become Thomas' art patron. Maybe Thomas had second thoughts once he started imagining being a daddy and wanted out of the deal. Maybe that was Thomas who Widmore beat up in the garage in that film that Ben showed Locke to convince him that Widmore was a bad guy and Locke should not leave on the freighter.


And hey, we haven't seen or heard from Hanso in years. I always thought it was grandpap Magnus in Jacob's cabin when Ben and Locke visited, the chair spun like crazy, and Locke heard someone say "help me." Zombie Magnus?


The good Shepherds?
Geesh, Christian Shepherd is quite a name. Even for an ex- bad, drunken doctor who has become the Zombie in White who might know it all. In the pilot episode, he tells Walt's doggy Vincent to go wake up his son, because Jack has work to do. Who was Christian at that point? Christian? Or the nano-powered-Smoky-force using the dead body of Christian?


And Jack Shepherd, geesh again. Remember that episode where he gets his tattoo? Lots of bloggers seem to hate the Stranger in a Strange Land episode but way back, that Thai tattoo seemed to matter. When the Thai guys on the beach see it, they beat Jack up. During his captivity by the Others, Isabel translated Jack's tattoo as "he walks among us but is not one of us." According to Lostpedia the real tattoo is in Chinese and refers to a poem by Mao that asks, "who masters fate's rise and descent?"


Jack's name is almost Jacob. This train of thought makes me pretty sure that Jack will be the last candidate standing and the next Jacob. Or maybe Jack and Christian are the shepherds whose ultimate role is to protect Aaron, who will turn out to be the next Jacob.


Locke
I love Locke. He's a good man who was used and abused over and over again and never understood why. He was loved only once but couldn't work it out with Helen. Well, except in the sideways timeline and that probably won't work out. When he wakes up in the ambulance after Desmond hits him, Locke says his emergency contact is Helen. "I was going to marry her." So sad. Now that he's awake, he knows this sideways life can't go on. Did his life really have no meaning? Did he make endless mistakes and wind up a tool of evil Smocke? Surely the man of faith deserves better. Why was Alpert present at his birth? What was the meaning of the test and the attempts to recruit young Locke to Mittelos labs?


Who's that Jungle Boy?

I still think probably Aaron is the next Jacob, maybe time jumping in as Jungle Boy. It just seems right that Jungle Boy is the son of Jungle Claire and grandson of Jungle Christian.

But Jungle Boy could be a time jumping young Locke. Wouldn't it be cool if Locke wakes up after Desmond hits him, Jack performs amazing surgery so Locke can walk on or off island, Locke goes to the island, and sees how badly he was used by Flocke and everyone along the way in his shitty life. He would just be even more miserable, right? Wrong! Because suddenly he realizes, "Hey! Now I know what the right object was on the coffee table when Richard came to test me! Now I recognize that weird smoke picture I drew as a kid! I should have gone to that Mittelos summer science camp! I was supposed to come to the island in my youth and it's never too late for a course correction!" You don't remember all that? Lostpedia to the rescue again. It was all in Cabin Fever. Jacob touched Kate and Sawyer as children. But he touched Locke (and Jack, Jin, Sun, Hurley and Sayid) when they were adults. Jacob was giving Locke another chance. Maybe a chance to go back and do his life over again the right way.


Jungle Boy Aaron would be older than any Aaron we've seen yet. Jungle Boy Locke would be older than 5-year-old Locke and would have passed Richard's test the second time around. He would be younger than 15-year-old Locke because he would have gone off to Richard's "special school" in the 1960s. He probably would have become one of Richard's camp of hostiles during the Dharma period. He would look just like the Jungle Boy.

What do you think when you take a close look? Jungle boy. Aaron. Young Locke. 

And what does David Byrne know?

Have you ever thought about this? The Talking Heads were singing about LOST 25 years ago in Once in a Lifetime. Seriously. Check out the lyrics. And am I the only one who has noticed the uncanny similarities between Christian Shepherd and David Byrne in the white suit in Stop Making Sense? And -- like another trippy time traveler whose name begins with a D -- David Byrne is Scottish!


Enjoy this great video with a whole new perspective.

We're going on vacation, baby.

So after Comicon I signed up for the Dharma Wants You recruitment game thing, but then wasn't really interested in the alternate reality game (that's ARG to those of you into this kind of thing) so I forgot all about it. Now I'm interested again, because I got this special email inviting me to use my special password to see the sneak preview of season 5!!!

In a November 25th video posted on Dark UFO Carlton and Cuse blamed the demise of the game on the economy. I guess they couldn't pay the mortgage or stock dropped or something. But all's well, because they promised to send special content to us recruits. Woo-hoo!! If you think I'm sharing my password here, with just anybody, you are so wrong.

I went straight to the Dharma Wants You site and downloaded my dossier. My test scores were pretty crappy. 100 for honesty and integrity. 0 for everything else, perhaps because I didn't bother to take the rest of the tests. I've been assigned as a cook.

A little disappointing. But even worse, I visited the abc site and I saw that the same sneak preview video is posted right there for all Losties to enjoy with no Dharma recruit password required! Also, of course, on youtube. Here it is.



Dang. I thought I was so special and all. It's off to the kitchen for me, where I plan to cook with great honesty and integrity.

Or maybe you prefer

You know I'm loving The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, SNL and The Onion. Truly great political comedy is an American tradition and a national treasure.

But let's say when deciding how to vote, you prefer a straight up objective, intelligent interview. I don't mean objective as in: Pretend I'm smart but somehow have no opinions. I mean objective as in: I'll tell you my perspective so that you can take it into consideration. I don't mean interview as in: Let's shout, call names, repeat our talking points even if they aren't quite true because the end justifies the means and by the end I mean as long as I win in the end.

I mean a real conversation about things that matter, discussed as if you know they matter. As if you are actually listening to each other and could hear something that worth considering. There are lots of good interviews on the Rachel Maddow website, including her interview with Dan Rather. He sets the junk-talk aside and says, look we have two candidates who are both qualified to be President. What matters is their politics.

The best interviews of this campaign may be this series of interviews Maddow did with Obama in this last week. It's no secret that she's a liberal. She's also a great interviewer.



Lots more at The Rachel Maddow Show

I need a LOST fix

and if you do too, go to the abc LOST site and let the new short videos run,

or let Doc Artz take you straight to the Season 5 promo.

For me, it's all about Ben, Locke, Michael, Rousseau and Alpert. Glad to see that the show is still about more than Kate-Jack-Sawyer. Because come on. In that triangle, it's all about Sawyer. I knew that when I was 16. And I met my Sawyer when I was 19. And my Sawyer still comes home to me. Sawyer is a consistent hero - and he's funny, too. If I need a doctor, I can make an appointment. I don't need a husband or a TV show for that.

Little Hamsters Stopover in a Quiet Town

Isn't this cute?



I do love cuteoverload. But this one really kind of creeps me out, because it reminds me so much of the plight of Bob and Millie Frasier, average young New Yorkers who Stopover in a Quiet Town.

Thank you, Wanda

Awww, youtube took this one down. Here's the link to the longer version at nbc.com

But it's OK if you talk about both of them

Oh man, is this the best election campaign ever? Well, the best ever for comedy? Here's another great one, this time from Saturday Night Live. Surely you noticed that Sarah Palin developed her look by studying the smart-strong-hot Tina Fey...

Isn't it wonderful that anyone can be president, if you want it bad enough?



And now surely you are asking, "WTF does flurge mean?" Well, Hillary and I both googled it. The spelling is not yet stable, but it seems to mean flush+purge as in get rid of or remove.

But WTF does MILF mean? Mother's I'd Like to... that's all you need to know. If you can't imagine the rest, I'm proud of you and would like to know how old you are and where you hail from. Sorry, I'm not telling what WTF means either.

I, for one, have never referred to Sarah Palin in that MILF way. And I can promise her that I never will.

Stop talking about her

You know, really, we should not even be talking about Sarah Palin. Because it's sexist to talk about the experience or character of candidates for office if the candidate for office is a woman. You didn't know that?

Lipstick on a pig

I don't have the nerves for these shouting heads politics shows, but this clip is necessary viewing. Watch Chris Matthews push the question of whether the latest McCain attack ad is really saying that Obama called Palin a pig and that Katie Couric does not approve.



So, to sum up. McCain used the same "lipstick on a pig" reference twice right after naming Hillary Clinton. No one accused him of calling Hillary a pig. One of McCain's (female) campaign strategists wrote a book called Lipstick on a Pig that advises politicians on how and when to use the phrase. And now McCain produced and tossed out an ad that implies it is sexist if Obama uses the phrase and that Obama is calling Palin a pig.

Finally, What's-his-name McCain guy on the show says, no, McCain isn't really saying that Obama is calling Palin a pig. No, What's-his-name isn't really saying so either. So what's up with the ad? Apparently, McCain may not exactly be responsible for the ads that include him saying, "I am John McCain and I approve this message." Apparently, our nation is threatened by rogue McCain ad producers. Also, apparently, McCain is powerless to do anything about it. But he's ready to lead some other stuff.

What's the word for that thing?

You know. That thing that the Palin family women should have the right to make for themselves... government should just stay out of it... that thing that is personal... that is very personal... what do you call it?



No comment. Well, okay. One comment. Thankfully, feminists have a sense of humor. You go, Samantha Bee!

the Democratic convention, Hillary & women

Believe it or not, I rarely watch TV unless there are new LOST episodes involved or I am in the mood for Stewart & Colbert. But I've just spent two weeks watching the Olympics and now the the Democratic national convention. Watching the convention is fascinating, especially if you cut out the nitwit pundits and take it in straight for yourself on C-Span.

I have a few friends back home in Pennsylvania who supported Hillary Clinton and now say that they are wavering between Obama and McCain. So watch and learn for yourself. I'll just share some highlights here for those of us who know that "women's issues" matter for all of us, including men.

A conversation with NOW past-president Eleanor Smeal


McCain's own words


A conversation with current NOW president Kim Gandy


A few more words from McCain


How does Hillary Clinton feel about McCain's attempt to use her to elect himself?


So think for yourself, but don't think that a vote for McCain is somehow a vote for Hillary Clinton or for women. Were you watching? No way. No how. No McCain. Boom shaka laka laka boom. Burn baby burn. Hilary had a nice soundtrack. Missed it? You can watch the whole speech on C-SPAN.

What's bugging me today? Michael Phelps fuss.

It's about time I give the Beijing Summer games some deep thought. I've been watching daily and I have a lot of questions.

1. Why do I love China?
2. Why does the fuss about Michael Phelps bug me so much?
3. Why do the beach volleyball women wear sports bra bikinis but the beach volleyball men, the indoor volleyball men and indoor women wear shorts and tank tops?
4. Are all medalists really from the U.S., Europe and China? Or is that an accident of my viewing times? Or a product of biased media coverage? Or will the second week of events open up a wider international competition?

Let's start with the question I can answer. Why does the fuss about Michael Phelps bug me so much?

I like Michael Phelps. I enjoy a personal story about the life of an Olympic athlete. It builds a human connection to the rest of us couch potatoes. Sure, Michael eats 5 breakfasts for breakfast. But he has a mom and two sisters and they all look like my kind of people. They wear their hearts on their sleeves and allow their emotions to play all over their faces. Mom's proud of him and he's proud of her. He loves that as a single mom she went to graduate school. Her late nights working as a school principal were a positive influence on the kids, inspiring them to work hard at something they care about. I like all of that.

Now here's what bugs me. Phelps is the greatest swimmer ever so let's just stop there and have a big party. Do we really need to pretend that the number of golds makes Phelps the greatest Olympian ever? What's harder, 8 golds for swimming 8 ways or one all around gold that requires excellence in different gymnastic events? I don't know. What other sport has 8 very similar events? I don't know. But I'm starting a new campaign. I want to get the world on board for track sprints 8 ways. I don't actually know much about track either, so I suggest that the 8 events should be sprints forward, backward, waving your arms over your head, skipping, hopping in a potato sack, holding an egg on a spoon in your mouth, balancing a water balloon on your head, and finally building up to that last gold medal for the best silly walk. It's okay if one of these is a relay.

LOST summer games

Ahh, July means the LOST producers' panel at Comic Con. In their style, Cuse and Lindelof give us what some might call mild spoilers but I call teasers and clues. Now your average movie review is full of serious spoilers. Why don't critics give spoiler warnings on their movie reviews? Anyway, here's balm for those midsummer LOST cravings. And maybe a summer ARG to play.

Part 1





Part 2





Part 3





Part 4





Part 5





The Dharma Video




George Bush is President. Time is the essence. Ready to sign up? Dharma wants you.

________________________________________________________________
Here's my catch of highlights and clues.

Part 1:
Dharma is reforming and recruiting. Get ready for your ARST - Aptitude, Recruitability and Suitability Test.

Part 2:
The new Dharma recruits need secret training. Nope, the island did not move during the earlier hatch implosion. We have not seen the last of Jin or Locke, but then death is a relative thing. Yep, there will be 2 more seasons, starting in February 2009 and February 2010.

Part 3:
We will see Rousseau's story, but don't expect the old flashbacks and flashforwards. A new approach is coming. Vincent the dog is fine. A woman is at Comic Con and she asks a question! Oh yeah, and the special guest appears.

Part 4:
Yes, Kate will see Sawyer again. (But then Desmond can time travel and see people in the past again. And Hurley has seen Charlie again. And Jack has seen his father again.) Faraday is okay, but fate may not be so kind to the non-line-speakers in the zodiac boat. Keep an eye on Faraday's little black notebook. Gotta love Stewart!

Part 5:
Richard Alpert is quite old. We will see him barefoot in the very near future. Remember that the man in the coffin was named Jeremy Bentham, who invented the panopticon? Are the people on the island being watched and if so, do they know who is watching them? What the heck happened back there in the new recruit training?